Shoo stress, don't bother me!

Has anyone ever come home from a long day of work or school and just couldn't shake the stress from the day? The day gets the best of all of us sometimes and we are all entitled to a bad day here and there. Although, have any of you taken your bad day out on your significant other? I have! I will raise my hand more than once to answer that question. There are some days where I take out my frustration and anger out on Ricky because he is the one who I come home to and not only does he get the joy of hearing me go on and on about my day but he also is the lucky one who gets the brunt of my stress. Not only is it fair to him but it also isn't healthy on a relationship. I can't say that we aren't allowed to express our feelings and emotions about the day because we should feel comfortable enough to discuss our feelings with our significant other but when it goes from an open discussion to open fire then it starts to become problematic. I will tell you that there has been several times in my relationship where fights have blown way out of proportion because I let the stress from the day affect my mood and emotions for the rest of the day and even at the end of the day. Because I have taken the frustration of my day out on Ricky, I am making him feel responsible for the stress when it isn't his fault at all. At that point, I have brought him down with me and made him feel upset and stressed as well, which brings tension into the relationship. What I have gained through that experience is one of five lessons:

Never bring your work or stress home!

You have probably heard this from your friends or even from your parents (like I have), but it doesn't always resonate with you until you experience the stress from the real world for yourself. If you have a stress-filled day and you get to a point where you are moments away from taking that stress and showing the wall how you feel, don't go home right away. Take a little drive around your neighborhood or an area that brings you some comfort and relief in times of stress and just give yourself time to reflect and breathe before you go home. It will give you some personal time for yourself to calm down and relax as well as have a clear and less stressed mindset before you go home to your significant other. Leave your cares and concerns at work, they will be there the next day for you to take care of. Do not bring them home with you where they don't belong, home is a place where you should feel at rest and at peace. Leave it that way and enjoy the life you have at home with your significant other. 

Don't take your frustration out on your significant other!

We all have done this once or twice in our relationships and it's okay but we don't want to make it a routine event. It is okay to talk to them and peacefully discuss your day and what happened throughout your day, that's one of the many joys that comes from having someone. We are able to have that person to talk to and be there for us. Remember that when you are talking over your day with them, it's a gift and we don't want to destroy that gift by making them feel like their back is against the wall every time we come home. We want to remember that it is a privilege and not something to take advantage of. The moment we start taking our frustration out on them, they will slowly start to back away from being that someone we can talk to about our day because they are not going to want to feel liable for what happened and they will not want to be in the way when we deal with our frustration and anger. 

Remember that we are setting the example!

Not only can this be a problem for us and in our lives but it can also be a problem that our significant other deals with as well during their day. They may come home some days and have had the worst day ever but because we set an example for how we handle those days, they automatically feel a little more at ease and de-stressed knowing that they left the problems they faced at work and they can come home to what makes them happy and what makes bad days worth it. If we set the example for our significant others, then we are showing them that home is a safe place, home should remain a happy place, home is where we focus on each other instead of what happened at work or at school. We are showing them the way to keep the relationship that much healthier and helping keep home and work at separate fields. 


Don't let what happened to you today affect your mood and attitude for the rest of the day!

It is extremely challenging to do this but I promise you that once you practice it a few times, it gets easier. It will make the world of difference for you! Even though we all have our bad days, it shouldn't set the mood that we have for the rest of the day. Tomorrow will come and it will be a new day with a new plan and purpose. I have let bad days decide what mood I will be in and where has it gotten me? NOWHERE! It has only made me feel worse and I realized one day that I am blessed beyond measure. I have food to eat, clothes on my body, a cozy bed to sleep in every night, a purpose every day and a loving husband to spend my life with. What do I have to be angry about? I shouldn't let one incident that happened in my day define my attitude because when the bad days come, it will only make me appreciate the good days even more. I am in charge of my own attitude and mood, no one or nothing else holds the key but me! There is always a reason to smile and there is always a light in every darkness, we just have to remember that when those bad days come. 

If you have to take your stress out on anything, do it right!

If it comes to it and the days of stress are adding up and bringing you down, why not have some fun while dealing with that stress! Sometimes when Ricky or myself has had one too many bad days, we like to sing at the top of our lungs or just scream as loud as we can in a vacant area (so we won't scare anyone in the process). Whatever it may be, take out the frustration with your significant other in a way that is not only healthy but can also be a fun memory that you both will share. A lot of activities that I find helpful are; throwing darts, baking/cooking, going on a writing spree, listening to really loud music, going for a run, or if you want to get messy and fun, try mixing colored dye in a bowl with warm water and soak paper towels in the bowl and throw them against the wall or cabinet. I know it seems a little out there but it works! Not only do these activities take away that stress a little but it creates a healthy and safe outlet for you to deal with your stress without causing tension in your relationship. 


Stay happy and beautiful! :)