Easy does it!
Ladies,
There is an expression in society that is used quite often in many different situations, it's a phrase called "chill". I know everyone has heard this expression before at some point and most of the time, it's because someone is saying it to you personally. I don't know about you guys but the person I hear this phrase most from is the man who has to deal with me the most, my significant other. What I am trying to express to you guys is one of the biggest and most important pieces of advice that I will ever give you. Take it easy in your relationship and don't find yourself getting caught up in your fear-based needs to control your partner and to control yourself. The only reason I say this is because I struggle with this on the daily, we all want to be our best and look our best and be the best for our significant other that we often get so burnt out and we mentally exhaust ourselves trying to conform our partner to fit our needs and us trying to fit theirs. A lot of us sometimes don't even realize that we are creating this pull and control in our relationship and even in our own personal lives and before you know it, you are slowly ripping apart bits and pieces of your relationship and this ultimately leads to anger and resentment from both you and your partner. Too often I find myself getting so overwhelmed with trying to be everything that Ricky needs me to be when it's not even our partner who expects so much from us but it's our own selves that expect so much. I myself believe that the more effort I put into my relationship, the more reasons why Ricky will love me. When this wasn't happening like I thought it would, it took a toll on me and greatly impacted my confidence and self-esteem. There was one night when I was reading my devotional for the night that I realized what the real problem was...how could I expect Ricky to see me the way I want to be seen when I don't even see myself for how I want to be seen? Meaning, we cannot invest so much time in trying to be the best of ourselves when we are already the best in their eyes, we should feel our best already. At that point, we need to come to the realization that we need to love who we are and spend less time trying to perfect what is already good and special. We are beautiful, talented, compassionate, and loving souls and by already seeing and knowing that we have that in each of us, we should be able to just relax and enjoy the amazing people we are! Stay happy and beautiful! :)
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