The Balancing Act

                                  

The title says it all. Life itself is a balancing act and at the end of it it's important for you to be your biggest fan. It is challenging trying to juggle many different responsibilities all at once. It is even more challenging when we see those who people who appear to be professionals at juggling life and who seem to have it all together. I have to admit that my balancing act has certainly not been up to par lately. All too often, we find ourselves feeling discouraged and defeated when we can't seem to be the person that we feel we need to be or when we can't do all that we feel we need to do. The biggest downfall in society nowadays is that it is so easy to compare ourselves to others. The worst part about this is that we begin to see this falsified reality of what happiness is, we look at the smiles and the travel destinations and the fairy tale representation of love and we find ourselves believing that this is what happiness is. We forget that we are responsible for our own happiness. We are the authors of our own story. We hold the pen and we must never let anyone or anything take charge of that. I have learned that happiness is not bought or it is not given. It is learned. It is learned when you learn that it is a choice every single day. It is an attitude that takes practice on some days but at the end of the day, happiness is learned when you realize that it is okay to not be okay sometimes, it is okay to not have it all together, it is okay to not be who everyone wants you to be and to do what everyone wants you to do. Happiness is understanding that you give life and all that comes with it your best shot and that is enough. Happiness is knowing that you have control of your thoughts and over your inner demons that try and knock you down and keep you down. Happiness is gaining the strength you need to stand up and keep on juggling the best that you can. We learn best from those moments that try and break us and keep us from finding that happiness.

All too many times, I find myself feeling like I am barely able to balance my life as a wife and as a mom. I think to myself how easy it would be to create a clone version of myself so I can give more of me to my husband, to my son, and to my family. It is hard to feel like you are being stretched thin while still trying to maintain your own stature. I have always been the type of person to invest my whole heart into something that I love. I hold on so tightly to the things that are so precious to me because I believe that those treasures can all be taken away if we do not appreciate them as much as we should. Because of this, I have learned two things about myself: I cannot be who everyone needs me to be and it is okay to not be that person. The biggest lesson that I had to take from the large pill that I had to swallow was I am who I am for a purpose. I am a fantastic mother and a fantastic wife and a fantastic person altogether and that is all that matters. On days where I feel like I am not doing enough for my husband or for my son or for my friends and family, I just remind myself that I am not a falsified representation of happiness, I am not a perfect smile that you see on social media or from that life that seems to have it all figured out. I am ME (Miraculous and Extraordinary). So let me introduce you to ME. An anxiety-ridden and clumsy person with a very dorky and corny personality. A mother who is insanely overprotective of her son but loves him unconditionally, a wife who is self-conscious and self-doubtful of herself at times in her marriage but loves the life she has built with her husband, a student who has spent many nights and many hours buried deep in projects and papers but hopeful for her future career where she will be reminded that it was all worth it. A sister who feels like she could have been a better role model and best friend but is so proud of the strong women that her sisters are becoming, a daughter who feels like I have let my parents down one too many times but I know I am making them proud by living my best life because of their constant belief in me and love. This is ME. In it's most natural and organic form. This is who I am now proud to be. I write this to you because in a world full of hatred, hurt, and fake happiness, it is easy to feel less than what you are. I am here to remind you that you are uniquely and wonderfully made to be a part of that happiness and finding that happiness in yourself will be your greatest help in balancing the act.

Stay happy and beautiful!

Love, The Life of a Wife...and a Mommy.